The Christmas Season is Upon Us!

This Christmas season we share the story of a young mom, Kristina, and her journey through our cornerstone program, Thrive. This is a difficult time of year for our young families, financially and emotionally. Join us this year with a donation that will help young moms, dads and their amazing kids access our centre and resources. 

Kristina was generous in sharing her story and below is her own story in her own words. Learn how Thrive helped Kristina choose a different future.

         "My story is a long one with lots of ups and downs.  I was on a path of self-destruction for a long time not really caring enough to look at the big picture and where my life was going always wanting more but never really knowing what more was.  I would make split second decisions that usually brought more trouble than I needed.  Every time I took a step in what I thought was the right direction it seemed two steps back would follow.  This caused stress and anger and disappointment and with no coping skills.  I would turn to drinking, drugs, to sex just trying to numb everything not ever thinking of the consequences of anything.  

Before I started with Thrive I was at the point where nothing seemed to be working.  I was stuck in a rut running in circles, so when Cherise showed up to our coffee date with the application I thought,, why not?  I didn’t have anything to loose at that point.  I wasn’t sure what I had hoped to learn or how 10 weeks could change my life but I needed to do something.  For the first probably week, I still wasn’t sure what this was supposed to do and really didn’t know how I was going to get through it.  As the days went on I started to realize that I needed to really invest my energy into it to really get something out of it.  No one warned me however that once you stop holding back this program is probably the most intense emotional 10 weeks of your life.

I have learned so much about myself.  

What I stand for, what makes me tick, what I am capable of.  Thrive has taught me how to improve my life.  To look before I leap and that nobody is perfect and it is ok to make mistakes.  I have learned determination. I have learned self-worth. I have learned perseverance. I have learned to be softer and more understanding.  I have learned practical life skills like parenting skills, budgeting, and how to cope with stressful situations.

Each of the amazing women here both leading the program and taking the program have taught me something about who I want to be.  I have learned how to be a better friend, a better partner, a better parent, and a better person.  Everything I have learned is so amazing but the most important thing I have learned is that my past does not define my future.  Who I was months ago is not who I am today.  I am so thankful for everyone at Thrive and for all the people that help make it possible.  I am thankful for the life long friends made here.  As for the future ,who knows where it will take me but I do know I have the skills I need to get there."

We at Stepping Stones and Young Families believe in these families and their futures. Everyday we see measures of success in their lives and we are thankful for people like you who share our commitment to them through Stepping Stones. For easy online giving, please click on the link below to make a one time donation or begin monthly giving:

http://www.youthunlimited.com/donate/?staff=Young%20Families

Christmas Arrived Early

We just received a wonderful Christmas present!

Northview Community Church generously donated a van for Stepping Stones to use.  Not only will this van take me (Louisa) to and from work everyday, but it will open many more opportunities for moms to access community resources. 

Now I will be able to drive moms to and from Muffin Morning, pick up donations such as diapers, and meet with moms individually in the community or in their day-to-day life such as doctor’s appointments and hospital visits.

Everyone here at Stepping Stones is extremely thankful for this gift and we look forward to breaking it in!

Because having this car is so crucial for this ministry, I am looking for support from you.  This holiday season, would you consider donating gas gift cards for this vehicle?  Your support will directly go to fuelling this van so that I’ll be able to use it to develop my relationship with young families.  

Thank you for your willing hearts and for sharing this great work with me!  

Merry Christmas! 

PUMPKIN PATCH

Nothing says Autumn like a visit to the Pumpkin Patch! Rain or shine, blue skies, grey skies - kids don't really care what the weather is when they head to the Pumpkin Patch to pick out their pumpkins! What a treat to see the goats, drive the tractor and have a snack with their parents and friends. We had a great time together and we hope these happy faces make you smile!

Meet Cherie

This is Cherie.  Many of you, who have followed the work of Stepping Stones over the years, will know her. If you haven’t yet met Cherie or heard her story - here it is.

I first met Cherie ten years ago at the Stepping Stones drop in. She was pregnant with her second child, nowhere to live and alone.  Safe housing and meeting the needs of her children were a daily struggle.  Cherie realized she had hit rock bottom and no longer had the ability to rescue herself. In that moment, she decided to contact Stepping Stones and thus started her journey with us. We helped her find housing and provided a safe community for Cherie and her children to be loved and accepted.

In 2007, Cherie was one of nine young mothers who attended our first cycle of Thrive, a life-skills program developed through the support of World Vision.  During the Thrive program, Cherie learned much needed skills to help keep herself stable for a better future with her family.   To date, we have 40 Thrive graduates, with 85% of them working or in school. We are currently at the beginning of a new Thrive cycle, with seven young mothers ready for the challenge to change their lives for the better.

We are pleased to report that Stepping Stones and Vancity Guildford branch have developed a strong partnership in Surrey this past year.  Vancity Guildford helped us with crucial fundraising and with practical and applicable financial literacy training for our young mothers in Thrive.

Recently, we received very exciting news!  Vancity agreed to hire a Thrive grad and train them as a Financial Service Representative at the Guildford branch. Vancity is a living wage employer, meaning employees are paid according to the cost of living. This goes beyond minimum wage, allowing people to properly support their families and is based on the actual costs of living in specific communities. This is another step towards reducing poverty in the lives of our clients.

I immediately thought of Cherie who was busy balancing life working at the mall, volunteering with Stepping Stones, and raising her kids!  It is with much gratitude in my heart to tell you that Cherie was hired in June and is now working at Vancity as a Financial  Service Representative.  Cherie sees this opportunity as a miracle because she has been trying to get into the Financial Industry for years with no success.  This vital partnership has directly helped Cherie provide for her family.

Through Thrive and this amazing opportunity with Vancity, Cherie was able to realize her assets and strengths and put them to use. We are thankful for the partnership with Vancity and their commitment to making a difference in their community.

We at Stepping Stones are looking forward to future employment opportunities for other Thrive grads with Vancity and potentially other business partners in the community.  Cherie’s story is great encouragement for us and we love that we get to share it with you!

Summer with Stepping Stones

A couple of weeks ago we had our first family BBQ for our Young Families in Surrey. I loved walking into Hawthorne Park and seeing many familiar faces. The park was alive with kids playing in the water park while their parents were catching up with staff and volunteers. There were lots of hugs, laughter and a few quiet, serious conversations at the picnic tables.  I’m sure for anyone walking by the picnic tables it would look like any normal family BBQ.

As I’ve watched Stepping Stones grow over the past 10 years, I have become increasingly aware that we are family for the many young moms, kids and dads. We are less of a “program” and more of moms, dads, sisters, brothers and grandparents. We desire to see young families develop a healthy deeper relationship with God, each other, and our community at Stepping Stones. We’re here long term: celebrating milestones, mourning over losses together, and walking through the messiness of life. 

I believe this is the model that God longs for all of us. In a world where nothing seems to last and loyalty is undervalued, I believe we need to be family for each other more than ever.

Cherise, one of our youth workers, exudes this quality well. Her role over the past 7 years has been significant in helping develop the “culture of family” at Stepping Stones. She is usually the first person a new mom will connect with and we trust that new mom will feel instantly loved and welcomed.

One young mother who stopped by the BBQ shared with me how much Cherise has meant to her over the years. She’s a busy single mom who works hard to provide for her son, and not as available to come out to weekly programs any more, but stays in contact with Cherise and some of the other young moms. She shared that she was having a tough week, and knew she could call Cherise for support. Cherise dropped everything and made herself available. As we were chatting, this young mom threw her arm around Cherise and with tears in her eyes said to me, “I honestly don’t know what I would have done without Cherise this week!”

I’m thankful we have become family at Stepping Stones and Stepping Up.  I am also thankful for many of you who have partnered with us for many years. We have been in the community of Surrey for over 15 years and are praying for many more.

Kellie Brown.

Cherise with one of our families at a Stepping Stones event today!

Always lots of food at our family BBQ's

Eating dinner with the kids

Real Change.

Vancity & Stepping Stones partner together to break generational cycles of poverty through meaningful employment.

While many of us may dread the sound of our alarm clocks on a Monday morning, most can appreciate the degree to which our work, the ability to and the opportunity for work affects our lives for the better. Our jobs provide the very practical means to care for our families, they give us the sense of purpose and progress we need to feel productive and they connect us to a community outside of our own. Work matters. Good work matters a lot.

Breaking cycles of financial, emotional and spiritual poverty is no small task. Being a young parent, the challenges  to overcoming poverty can seem even more insurmountable. There's so much to learn, do, pay for and attend to that it can 

feel almost impossible to ever get ahead. Giving our young moms and dads meaningful opportunities to earn a living, provide for their family and plan for the future is a critical component of breaking this cycle. 

The Guilford Branch of Vancity has stepped up as a champion of Young Families and we are so thankful. Starting immediately they are partnering with us in the hope to hire a new thrive grad every 6 months. We have already started with one grad officially training as Vancity employee right now and are so thankful for this relationship. This opportunity will give the Thrive graduates the experience and opportunity they need to continue healing, growing and giving back.

If you would like to learn more about our how you can hire a Thrive Grad or a Young Dad, or have the name of a business we could approach to help support our programs, we'd love to hear from you. Thank You for your continued support of our young moms and dads.

Gala in the Garden: An Evening Celebrating Young Families

I am so thankful for the community that came out to the big evening. Stepping Stones and Stepping Up staff (along with myself) truly appreciate how many were able to take time out to celebrate, participate and support the Young Families Ministry. Thank you to the many kind sponsors who stepped up and helped - it was really encouraging personally to see the range of businesses come to the plate.

For those of you who weren't able to attend, we ate some incredible food, heard some powerful stories of hope, lives changed and families restored and danced the night away. The Tree Of Hope that you filled out will be carefully assembled and passed on to the community at Stepping Stones and Stepping Up and in some ways, just acts as a reminder, a testimony to the wider network of people supporting, cheering and championing young families.

Soul Stream was incredible. For those of you who missed the event this year, trust me - you'll want to come next. Seeing so many of you out on the dance floor, ripping it up was the highlight for me of the evening.

The road forward for Stepping Stones and Stepping Up is, challenging, hopeful, stressful and exciting all at once. Not too disimilar to being a new parent I suppose. The needs continue to grow, and we rely continually on a faithful God and a strong community of support. Thank you for being there for us.

We'd love for this to just be the beginning of a conversation. It truly takes a community to rebuild families, restore hope and just walk through life together. Your ongoing prayers and support are deeply valued and we want to make sure we're doing our part to let you know what's going on in this community.

Please check out the facebook album - there are some great shots of the night and we'd love you to stay connected with us through the page or by signing on to our newsletter.

From all of us at Stepping Stones and Stepping Up: Thanks.

-Jeff

Meet Dave [again]

Dave's Story from Jeffrey Golby on Vimeo.

Young Families Gala in the Garden

We are delighted to invite you to a night of celebration, hope and partnering together to fund another transformational year at Stepping Stones & Stepping Up.

We're hosting a Gala in the Garden on May 11th at Van Dusen Gardens in Vancouver and we'd love for you to join us. Full details can be found HERE. It will be a great evening and we'd love for you to join us. Pick up your ticket today for an event you won't want to miss. 

Why?

WHY?

The struggle of so many young fathers I work with is that they are confused about being a dad. They are trying to find fatherhood not knowing where to go, to find it! Most of the young dads I work with are without a father figure in their lives. It’s like fathering by brail; they have never seen it in action before!

Could you even fathom playing in the NHL, but never seeing hockey in your life? Imagine with me for a moment, you’re in the tunnel ready to go on the ice, looking down at your skates and saying what the heck are these things on my feet. You can hear the 40,000 plus fans cheering just before you enter on the ice! As you step on the ice you turn into “bambie” in front of them! It’s a colossal fail. Get the picture? Most of these young dads are going to fail if we don’t take time to help them in their struggle.

Over the years I have talked to many dads on my son’s hockey teams. The season starts with the familiar! Gathering around the cold rink leaning back on the wall staring dismally at the ice surface with our beverages of choice in hand. Mine happens to be coffee, a “good Canadian tradition” don’t you think? The background noise consists of my coffee being slurped and the pucks banging against the boards as the dads wait in silence for someone to talk. It’s hard to be the first one, because of the macho side in all of us!

When someone is brave enough to talk, breaking the silence. Our conversations quickly turn to the weather, our jobs, some of the toys we have accumulated over the years (I’m lacking in that area) but its good to dream lol. And the big conversation piece is always our kids and some of the funny and not so funny stories of being a dad, wearing each story like a badge of honor.

When it’s my turn to share about what I do, every thing turns really quite especially my experience of being a single dad. It is usually of much interest to everyone listening, I get full attention when I reach this point in my story. To my amazement the dad’s stop looking at their kids playing hockey and look right at me. For all the hockey parents out there you know this is huge, to look away from the ice because watching our kids is usually the main attraction! We never want to miss the next goal or assist our kids are going to get. Generally I don’t get much feedback at the point of sharing just the bended ear and after I’m done talking the conversation usually awkwardly turns back to work, the NHL and other day-to-day things. But to my amazement throughout the year, one by one the dads come up to me, privately unleashing a flurry of the struggles they are facing as a dad or husband. Single or not, they always end with this one question at the end of their confessions “is there any kind of program out there for me as a 35,40,45 year old dad”?

This got me thinking of the “WHY”, why are dads feeling like they are missing something regardless of their age? Why do they want to know where they can find resources and support in being a dad? I want to ask the question why do we need to support young dads?

For three years now I have been asking this question WHY, why should Stepping Up support these young dads? I feel God has given me so many answers to this question, but without spoon-feeding you my thoughts, I’m curious to know and hear your whys? It’s important we find the answer to this. WHY do we need to answer this question within ourselves? It’s an important question to ask before we can truly and holistically support young fathers as a community of believers.

I’m hoping as you journey with Stepping Up and it’s pursuit to answer the WHY, we together can change the tide of fatherlessness. I would love it if you would respond to this blog and give me some of your WHY’s. Why is it worth supporting young dads?

I would love to post some of your responses in my next blog…..so feel free to answer this all important “Why?”

Thanks,

And let’s keep hope alive for all dads, because hope comes from HIM above the true author of hope!

Dave

Psalms 68:5 (NLT)

“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows-this is God, whose dwelling is holy”.

Brad & Cherie's story of Hope.

Cherie & Brad's Story from Jeffrey Golby on Vimeo.

The Deflation of a Proud Father

The deflation of a proud father!

As I sit in the waiting room with my girlfriend at the ultra sound office. Waiting for the news on the health of our new little baby.  The Proud feeling I feel, quickly, becomes a feeling of second best, one of feeling little left out.  Not a typical feeling an expectant father should feel when going to see your baby.

When the ultrasound tech calls my girlfriends name, for her turn to get scanned, I stand up with her as any proud father would, ready to see a glimpse of our little baby for the first time, excited to get a glimpse of the little precious him or her.

From a Dad:

In an instant the proud feeling that I as a father had, turns into frustration and anger! I’ll tell you why.

In aloud an abrupt tone and with a rude facial expression I might add, the ultra sound technician say’s this; "dad you can stay seated, you come in near the end, this is just for mom".

My first thought was "WHAT" you gotta be @#$%^& joking! Talking to my self as I sit back down!

I’m not going to lie to you as I write this but I’m feeling really frustrated! Combined with a heavy heart!  The biggest pain I feel is the feeling of being left out.

Now, hear me out! This complaint does not come out of selfish gain or not recognizing the importance of mom. But it takes two to create this little being, so I figure it takes two to view the ultra sound and be part of the moment, at the same time. I think this is a valid point? And it should be heard.

I mean this is our baby is it not? We are mom and dad it took the two of us to create this thing didn’t it? Then I would think we both should go in at the same time, to enjoy the moment together?

I feel the medical system and other factors in our society has a hard time recognizing fathers and their needs at times! The need to be compassionate towards fathers throughout the pregnancy process is an imperative one, I think! It seemed to fail dad’s big time in this situation.

I think the willingness of young fathers wanting to be involved in their child's pregnancy is more common than society thinks.  We should re-think things a little.  Dads are important and we have an important role to play in our children’s lives I wish that society could recognize this.  I feel being treated equal is not two much to ask!

Thanks for listening to my story!

Daddy